Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Why I Hate Modern Doctor Who

I’m gonna preface this article with a quick disclaimer; I don’t hate Doctor Who because I’m some purist who loves the older Doctors as if they were Christ himself, or in my case Commander Shepard.  Truth be told I’ve only seen a handful of old Doctor Who episodes, most of them being Tom Baker episodes, and they were alright, nothing great. I have never been a fan of Doctor Who, but I’ve always like the idea of Doctor Who, a lone time traveller doing stuff and righting wrongs across the Universe, like Quantum Leap but with aliens. But that idea that I enjoyed seems to have been swept away with the modern incarnation of everyone’s favourite medical practitioner and I’m gonna explain why.

Now old Doctor Who, or at least my interpretation of him from my limited viewing and basic knowledge of the show, always came across to me as some sort of aloof intellectual explorer, who went wherever he so pleased and just did stuff; yes, whenever we saw him he was always battling some foe or foiling some maniacal plan to take over Earth by way of a studio back lot, but he never seemed all that interested in what was going on around him, usually regarding his peers and foes with an odd bored fascination, like all that was going on around him was like a television on in the background while we he did something else more important, like the dishes. He never came across as some grand bastion of all that was good, in fact he always seemed to inhabit a strange moral grey area, always trying to calculate his action I such a way so that they wouldn’t do too much to alter this new world he had visited. A more pro-active Uatu The Watcher from Marvel if you will. Now, this is only my interpretation based on incomplete date, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m wrong but this is necessary to properly frame why I hate ever Doctor from Christopher Eccleston onwards.

My main problem with the new Doctor is how he’s become this strange messiah figure, with every companion, villain and passer-by falling in love with him, despising him on every level or just being in awe at how great he bloody is. Rose, Donna, Captain Jack… err, the others, all fall in love with the bastard and are all sad when he eventually leaves and they have to go back to their boring families and loved ones, as if buggering off with a seemingly immortal weirdo is the best foundation for a long term relationship. I should also mention I hate the writing, but that’s a rant for another day.  And he keeps taking away these impressionable young idiots and continuing the cycle every bloody time, each time bidding farewell to them like they were his own mother on her deathbed. And this isn’t even going into how irresponsible he is as a time traveller, taking people out of their set time periods and then throwing them into some wild alien time period, letting them eat alien food and interacting alien species. You can’t visit certain countries without first having to have extensive vaccinations, and he’s flinging med students and kissagrams far into the future where some super pathogen would make them keel over the second someone breathed near them. Furthermore, his constant forays into Earth’s past and present would have rendered Earth’s history completely FUBAR.

Expanding on his new messiah figure status comes the messiah complex wherein he treats every death as literally the worst thing to ever happen ever… well, so long as the one who dies is someone he knows. For example, in the Christmas special Voyage of the Damned the Doctor meet Kylie Minogue on the space Titanic which is going to crash into Earth for insurance reasons and in the process Kylie Minogue dies, now the Doctor’s known this woman for all of an hour but still reacts to her death like someone would to their best friend since childhood died before their eyes, but earlier in the episode we saw countless people die. And then there’s his damned sanctity of life for every villain that could easily be killed with a handgun but NOOOO, he can’t kill because… killing is bad? Now I like Batman, and I like how he doesn’t kill people because his reasons make sense, the Doctor on the other hand? He once caused genocide of his own people and the Daleks. But now this bloke he just met can’t use his obvious prop gun to kill the monster because that would be bad… or end the episode too early, same thing.  Okay, so maybe it’s not the Doctor that’s the problem, it’s the writing staffs who don’t know how to write a complex character, so they just make him a God figure with a magic wand tat fixes everything and everyone loves. Christ, they’re projecting a bit, aren’t they? 

Alex Chhaya

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